Recognizing the cult self and the authentic self
Written by Chris Vishoot · Fact checked by Bible Vaccine Center Editorial Team
Remember earlier when we talked about Steven Hassan’s Combating Cult Mind Control?
One of the concepts Hassan introduces is the distinction between the cult identity and the authentic self.
As you spend more time with your loved one, I want you to pay attention to something.
Have you ever noticed that your loved one seems to become almost robotic when discussing Shincheonji?
Perhaps they begin quoting Shincheonji’s teachings word for word. Their responses sound memorized, and instead of having a natural conversation, it feels like they’re repeating something they learned in Bible study.
Hassan uses the concept of the cult identity to help explain how a person’s thinking and behavior can become shaped by a high-control group’s teachings.
Now, consider a different situation.
This is what Hassan’s framework calls the authentic self: the person’s own interests, memories, values, and individuality beyond the identity promoted by the group.
Why is this important?
Because we want to reconnect with your loved one as a person, rather than making every interaction about Shincheonji.
When you notice that your loved one becomes genuinely excited about an old hobby, take an interest in it.
Ask them about it. Share a memory. Maybe even suggest doing that activity together.
You don’t need to bring Shincheonji into the conversation.
And when you notice that your loved one begins repeating memorized religious explanations, you don’t need to interrupt them or point out that they sound robotic.
Simply listen and observe.
Keep a mental note of when your loved one seems relaxed, spontaneous, and comfortable expressing their own thoughts, and when their responses seem more rehearsed or defensive.
Over time, these observations can help you better understand how to communicate with them.
Reconnecting with the person you know
One of the things I want families to understand is that your loved one’s life did not begin when they joined Shincheonji.
They had friendships, hobbies, memories, dreams, and goals before joining the organization.
Those parts of their life still matter.
Our goal is not to force them to return to who they used to be. People naturally change as they grow.
Rather, we want to help your loved one feel comfortable expressing the parts of themselves that exist beyond Shincheonji.
And that begins with taking a genuine interest in the person, rather than focusing exclusively on their religious beliefs.
Remember, at this stage, we’re still not trying to disprove Shincheonji.
We’re learning how to reconnect with your loved one and understand them better.
Source: Steven Hassan, Combating Cult Mind Control (revised edition, 2015).